We’ve all had that churning feeling, sweaty hands, heart racing, thoughts tumbling. That moment when you wish you had the confidence to see you through the situation.
So what is confidence?
Is it not having any nerves? Maybe it’s knowing it all or knowing everything is going to plan? Having complete control?
Not really. What it boils down to is believing that when stepping into a situation you will be ok. It is about going to the edge of your comfort zone and trusting in yourself to go beyond. And that in stretching yourself to do that you will still be safe.
Behind the FEAR
Feelings of lacking confidence come from a fear and to tackle it you need to begin with understanding what lies behind the fear in the first place. For example it’s not really public speaking you don’t like – it’s a fear of being embarrassed, or being called out as not knowing your stuff or losing your place and feeling foolish. So when you are wanting more confidence its about looking at those fears and figuring out how you can mitigate them to help you feel more comfortable.
Move on
So how do with get to grips with and move on from that fear? We want to be able to build up your own trust in yourself. Start by looking at where that fear has come from, establishing if reality and your idea of the situation are aligned and true. Often there is a mismatch and that’s a great place to start to rebuild and reshape the situation to build trust in yourself.
The next time you aren’t feeling confident about a situation check:
- What is it I fear most about the situation?
- Is that fear real or based on my own version of what may happen?
- What can I do to minimise that real fear?
And know you aren’t alone. Each of us has our own area where we would like more confidence. It’s one of the top three things people want to work on when they come to me.
Start by understanding the fear and you start with being able to unpack what is really holding your confidence back.
If you want to face your confidence fears then let’s chat – get in contact
